A Little Sadness, A Little Beauty, A Little Me

There are days when I feel as quiet as a Cigarettes After Sex song—hazy, drifting, yet strangely captivating in its own way.

 I’m not afraid of loneliness anymore, but I still notice its presence in the small corners of my day. The coffee on my table grows cold, the smoke from my cigarette fades into the air, and I wonder—how many others are sitting like me, lost in their own wandering thoughts? 

  

I have ADHD. I procrastinate. But I love life.

I love those fleeting moments when I lose myself in a Lana Del Rey song, feeling the lyrics seep into my skin. I love writing because it’s the only way I can arrange the chaos in my mind. Writing helps me breathe. It reminds me that I’m still here, still alive, still feeling. 

Living in Japan sometimes feels like being a character in a slow film—wandering alone through quiet streets, neon lights reflecting on rain-soaked pavement. I’ve grown used to solitude, but there are times when I wish for someone to sit beside me, saying nothing, just existing in the same silence.
There are things buried deep within me that I don’t always share.

But I am always okay.

I have learned to find beauty in my own way—a cup of coffee, a cigarette, a good song, a few words on a page.

And sometimes, that is enough.

How are you feeling today?